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Whirling through consciousness

I wish to share with you few words about my whirling experience. I don't claim any of it to be a truth, but they are the raw ideas and thoughts that it brought up to me.

First of all, I referred to it as the "game of consciousness" in my notes. It reminded me of how I used to do it as a child; I would turn as fast as I could until I would eventually fall or just lie down, and enjoy the feeling of everything moving around me. I pretty much connected it with Doria's words "to look at consciousness with a naive eye, as a child".

Now I am also questioning myself about the balance, am I in balance when I am stable? Or is playing with my instabilities a way to find my balance?

The balance exists because instabilities appear first. Balance is always in motion, so we are constantly adjusting our balance to be stable. Finding a balance could be findng a way to use the forces that are affecting us in this moment. Whirling would be a way to remind ourselves that everything is always moving, changing, evolving, and that we are part of this movement.

The second thing that came to my mind was this way of making my body functioning self-sufficiently, mechanically. So my mind could focus on something else, on another level. As a way to trick my senses. As Descartes wrote, we can't rely on our senses because they can delude us (the theory of the Cartesian doubt). So, by spinning on myself, I shift my focus so my brain doesn't care anymore about my body's feelings, and can become conscious of what is really at play now, in the now, in the mind. If my usual state of consciousness is altered, then what am I conscious of? If we say that being conscious is waking up and feel the materiality of my body, then when I realise that I don't feel my body anymore but still I am awake, am I conscious? Then, if I am conscious, where does my consciousness comes from, if not from my body senses?

Moving in relation with the others and in the space was also an important factor. At first, it made me state the obvious: I can only move if they move and vice versa. There is a communication existing without any words, a connection, maybe we can say that it is a common consciousness. Spinning as a way to coordinate ourselves together, as an extension of the self. But this would be done naturally just by the fact of moving together in the space. So is it unconscious ?

In a way I could connect to the idea of freedom in relation, and reflective autonomy through this point.

There was also this feeling of being on my own, but knowing that if I fell, others were with me and could catch me. Moreover, it made me realise that if I fall or bump into someone, I am hit by the present, the now, the reality of the world, the materiality of my body. So by spinning I escaped my own materiality, to be in my mind.

"Spinning against the time", this words had a strong impact on my way to live this experience. As if by spinning I would get rid of all these layers that have been added while growing up, through education. So, it would be a way to get back to the essence of myself, to get back to my spine.

This would be amplified by the feeling of dizziness, this state that makes everything around me all blurry, everything that is superficial, external, disappears and I can concentrate (Con-Centrate), focus, on myself. This feeling was also like if I was disconnected from reality, or in another dimension. Realising that everything is moving around me, but the only thing that is clear is myself; however, it is unstable, changing, in a constant evolution. Nevertheless, it is the only thing that I can refer to, the only thing that I can know (I can't be inside someone else).

Then I could connect to the idea of statement, making the statement of myself.

It also brought the idea of reboot, reprogramming: getting aware, being conscious and erasing what's unnecessary, keeping only what is true to myself, true to my spine. The spine is what keeps me standing, what allows me to move, what connects me with the sky and with the ground. If I connect myself to my spine, I can extend myself, expand my energy, through my roots, through my rays.

Moreover, turning toward the heart appeared to me as a way to reconnect with my intuitions. To put reflections, thinking, influences, on the side. In fact, making a decision with the heart, knowing from the heart, is when it is true. So, consciousness would be in the heart. Intuition is not in the mind, but in the heart.

This would also surface a correlation with selflessness, as an impulse coming from the heart. Self-Less-Ness: the decision does not come from the self, the purpose is not the self, but it is an impulse that comes from the heart to the self.

But then, if it is an impulse, I don't know it before it comes to me, before it becomes concrete. So, if it is already in me, and I don't know about it, I am not yet conscious about it, it is unconscious. So, spinning as a way to make the unconscious become conscious? As a way to connect with the impulses from the heart.

Finally, the image of the circle was very important to me: to start from a point and go back to this same point. But I've changed through the way and by the way, the journey of making the circle. So then, the circle becomes a spiral, when it evolves in time and space. By this thought, I could connect to the narrative.

All these ideas came to me as I was experiencing the whirling and then reflecting about it; but it's also interesting to notice that I came to some understandings at night, while sleeping or being almost asleep. So, in a state of altered consciousness... Which make me connect with the idea of dropping; once the tension is released, I could be open to welcome my understandings. Releasing the tension on consciousness to tune with the universe, and welcome the shared knowledge? (as in Matteo's presentation)


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Dears, wishing to share with You the recording of Monteverdi´s song. Looking forward to meeting soon and share more! Warm thoughts from Berlin, Matteo

1 Comment

Nerys Golan
Nerys Golan
Mar 02, 2020

dear Mathilde, your words are touching, and moving. I am celebrating your post with a whilring . 💃🌠🌼

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